Arbtirary thoughts on nearly everything from a modernist poet, structural mathematician and functional programmer.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Random Conversation

(Laughter has been removed)

MC: hmm. I'm demoting you
CK: ?
MC: you are no longer Master Commander of Hypothetical Operations.
CK: But if you don't demote me, think about how great everything would be!
MC: Your title is now Chief Executive of Jello Affairs.
CK: But!!! I'm not jiggly enough!
MC: hmm... actually, I don't know if I like that title... Jello Executive, Fruity Faction.
CK :I do, however, know that every conditional with a false antecedent is true... and I am responsible enough to only imagine badass scenarios.
MC: mostly so it abbreviates to JEFF
CK: If I had not been demoted, you would be richer than google.
MC: a googol dollars!!!
CK: If I were currently MC of HO, then yes.
MC: hmm
CK: (Hurray vacuous truths!!!) Allowing mathematicians to make vacuous promises since 1000BC
MC: right, could have doesn't actually imply causal effect, does it?
CK: Well, it's that If x Then y is always logically true when x is false. Because the implication is only broken when x is true and y is false. I had a prof who was in the habit of using vacuously true cases for the base case of an induction. Like, a statement about edges in a graph; his base case would have no edges...
CK: Why did I get demoted, by the way?
MC: glitch in the payroll system.
CK: Ah. Well; can't be helped.
MC: actually, we introduced the glitch after the fact
CK: I can't blame anyone, can I.
MC: there was a glitch in the name placards and they came out wrong.
CK: Well, if the name placard says so, it must be so.
MC: so we demoted/promoted people accordingly. It only made sense.
CK: Of course.
MC: we didn't want to waste the money we spent printing them.
CK: A company needs principles if it's to run smoothly. Principals? I don't know which.
MC: well, it needs both; who else is going to turn the hamster-wheel-power-generator?
CK: Right. This is why you can promote, and I'm only the JEFF. Best conversation ever, by the way.
MC: no, they only let me demote. I don't have authority to promote. They only give that authority to the janitor's secretary.
CK: I see. That seems sensible.
MC: I'm not sure this conversation would make any sense were I to read through it after forgetting the fact itself.
CK: You forget that it makes no sense now.

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